It's the Time of the Season ©

Absent-minded and daydreaming at the office one random Thursday, my eye caught an email with an interesting title flashing screen right.

E-vite: Party for Londoners not attending Glastonbury.

I clicked on it. It was forwarded to me by my friend James (One of the original two people I knew when I first moved to London. We go all the way back to college).
It was quickly followed by an email explaining that a friend of his was having a party and told him he could bring people and by people he meant girls…. preferably single.

There was a catch. You had to bring: clothes for tennis if you wanted to play, sports shoes to use the basketball court, a swimming costume for the pool and sauna and at least two towels. One towel for lying on the grass and one for having a shower.

How demanding! Would I be able to carry all that stuff across London? I thought about it for a while and concluded that yes, I just might just be able to do that.

So on the weekend that everyone was at Glastonbury, forty self-proclaimed Londoners from all over the world gathered in a house in North London to frolic sans mud.
I got there at noontime and for a moment I thought I was on the set of Will Smiths’s video “Summertime”.
The barbecue was on, the girls were either in the pool or sun tanning whilst the boys were playing basketball or staging diving contests to attract female attention.

If they were deer they would lock horns and push each other about but in the world of fancy garden parties showing off all the tricks they learnt when they were teenagers would suffice to prove who was the most virile Alpha male.
It was a candy store of boys, all different nationalities, interests and sizes (and by sizes I off course mean height and weight).

Deep breath Venus. This was going to be easy, like riding a bicycle.
Flirting and exchanging meaningful looks was on the menu today. I used be really good at this, time to get back on the saddle.
At the end of the day I’m Venus, this is what I do.
I changed into my bikini and joined James at the pool who introduced me to his new girlfriend.

Moment……….when you are newly single and a very close friend of yours embarks on a new relationship it’s always a test.
James had a new girlfriend. How did I feel about that? I scanned for inner reactions.
No bitterness for other people’s joy came to the surface. This was good. I was obviously in better shape than I thought.
Her name was Emily and she was lovely.

A girl with a Jewish background who had turned Buddhist. It was obviously very important to her because she made a point of talking about it several times during the day.

I found it very interesting and was amazed by how people in London seemed to pay a lot of attention to beliefs and culture heritage.

She asked me what I believed in?

Well, Zeus but then again I speak to Dad every day. It would be hard to ignore his existence. I also believe in nature and trying things out the human way.
- I believe that Humans are more magical than Gods. Everything takes longer but it’s magical. You don’t think it some times but you are.
Emily looked at me puzzled…. I think I was sharing too much too soon.

Then James introduced me to the boys. They all belonged to different tribes: Cute & polite British boys that were still studying their PhD in Cambridge, esoteric theatre types who liked talking politics and seemed to live in a Leonard Cohen inspired world, sporty types who wanted to know if the girls had brought proper tennis kit and a few imports from Spain. The latter gave nothing away. They looked at you intensely with their dark eyes; smiled suggestively and simply stated: "It was lovely to meet you".

One of them looked like Javier Bardem….need I say more?

There was almost too much choice. Another dive in the pool and a tennis match after were the order of the day. James was very attentive to both Emily and I. He seemed to understand that I was still fragile. Well, that and also that when you’re in love you have love to spare for the whole world, it spills over and envelopes everyone that comes close to you.
I enjoyed it, it made feel at ease.

As we moved into the night the girls started talking about the sauna. Purely for health purposes and the flushing of toxins of course. Now it was our turn to go primal.
- Oh yes, I love sweating with next to nothing on in the deep heat of a tiny room…it’s soooooo good for you.
That’s what they would say if they were in a 50’s Marilyn Monroe movie and it would be quickly followed by some poor man biting his trilby hat and walking fully clothed straight into a cold shower.

Let the games begin!

I dove into the pool, got out and went straight into the sauna.
The Javier Bardem look alike was there with two of his friends.
But shock of shock and horror of horrors. I can’t believe I hadn’t noticed it before. He was wearing “Speedos”, orange ones, whilst his two friends had the red and black versions on.

Seriously they should be banned. It’s the equivalent of a girl wearing a dress that comes up to her crotch and has a cleavage that reaches her stomach. Even if she’s a member of Mensa you can’t take her seriously. Well you can’t look into her eyes to begin with; there is too much distraction.
My cousin Athena always says "It’s a case of trying to appeal to the cheap seats in the audience".
I didn’t feel challenged anymore. I knew everything there was to know about him anatomically. Nothing was left to the imagination. It looked clinical actually. There were three males in the sauna with their organs on display and trust me there wasn’t a sexy feeling to be found at a three-mile radius.
When they left, the rest of the girls in the Sauna burst into giggles.
- Were you measuring them in your mind? asked Olivia who looked like she was going to pass out from the laughter.
Yes, we all nodded in agreement.
- Oh good, cause I thought I was the only perverted one in the room.
- You are not alone. We all said
- Seriously though would you? After seeing them like that?
- I wouldn’t let him take me out for coffee, I said
- Which one? Did you have a preference Ms Venus?
- Oh you’re quick! The Javier Bardem look alike was not bad but the Speedos made my internal “Hard on” die a death.
We laughed so much that we had to leave the Sauna in search of oxygen

At two o’clock in the morning there was a snooker match going in the “Cigar room” downstairs and cocktails were being made in the kitchen.
I took a book I had with me and went into the sitting room, which was filled with eclectic art and sculptures. It was very quiet and after the days exertions I felt like I could hear myself think again.

Javier Bardem came in (his modesty well covered in a pair of jeans) with two glasses of red wine.
- It’s Rioja. It will relax you and make you sleep well.
- Relax me even more than the sauna?
- Yes
He lived in Barcelona. I told him I was half Olympian – half Gaelic in origin.
He was an architect and I a word sculptor. He liked Lorca, we had that in common.
He took a pack of cards out of his back pocket and started doing magic tricks. He found the missing cards in my sleeves and even discovered a coin in my ear.

I giggled and thanked him for the little show but told him I wanted to sleep.

He was gentlemanly and left me to it.

I lay there in the darkness thinking that he had really put all his art into it. Under different circumstances we may have shared a kiss.
I don’t know if it was the Speedos or if I just wasn’t ready to be flirting and sharing kisses yet but my libido had definitely left the building.

I slept under the sculpture of a naked goddess that night and in my dream she knelt down and smoothed my hair as I slept.
- You’re just hibernating Venus, enjoy it.
- It’s summer. I corrected her.
- It’s not summer all over the world. In some places it’s winter because it needs to be. Nature needs to sleep before she can be reborn.

She kissed me on the forehead and assumed her original position. I had no more dreams that night.